I am standing on the balcony of my Cairo hotel room, once again taking in the view of a city shrouded in what seems to be a nearly permanent haze of mist and pollution. I am exhausted; the only reason I am awake at all is to take advantage of the hotel's free breakfast. Since I pack my pockets with boiled eggs, fruit and lunch meat for my meal later in the day, it is my mission to make it to breakfast every day!
I have just returned from the Gaza/Egypt border crossing at Rafah where I spent a miserable two days in rain and Third World transport in a futile attempt to make it into Gaza. There are few people in Gaza reporting right now at a time when it is essential to show the suffering that is occurring there. These moments are stressful for photojournalists, although logic tells us that there is not much we can do to cross into a country at war whose borders are not only closed but have the armies of two countries amassed along them. Not only are the tunnels in Rafah now destroyed, but the Egyptian army is trying to block Palestinians from entering Egypt and keeping anyone and anything from entering Gaza apart from small shipments of aid here and there. Even my ideas to sneak in on an ambulance, pay off a border guard or SCUBA dive across the ocean border were all foiled by the military, which covers literally every road in and out of the area.
It's hard to explain, but the more I do this job, the more I feel personally obligated to the people who I photograph. They let me into their lives with no expectations, no thoughts of compensation and often at their most personally difficult times. When I can’t help them by capturing their story or if I am not able to get the story seen by a large audience and let their voices be heard, I feel as if I have let them down. Although this can be hard on me at times, I feel like the more connected I become to my subjects, the more emotion gets transferred into the images. Still images are all about conveying emotion and making viewers feel, to some degree, what a photograph's subjects do. Like many things in life, it's a double-edged sword.
I spent New Year's Eve shivering in an unheated hotel room (yes, it is actually cold here at night) trying to figure out how to dry my rain-soaked clothing. I dont care to drink much, but if there was a time for it, this probably would have been it!! A full day of dealing with authorities hassling me about being press — including two hours in a police office waiting to be approved to continue to the border — then waiting around in the rain unable to find any way of getting in provided a memorable evening! I am not a big fan of New Year's Eve parties, so I was more upset about my inability to get where I needed to go than missing a night that gets on my nerves more than it provides me with pleasure.
And now I am back in the luxury of Cairo, trying to figure out what to do next. For the moment Gaza is out, but I have a reports I would like to make here in Cairo…you can expect them soon.
I want to thank you for these posts. It's interesting to get to know more about the person behind the camera.
Posted by: Berg | January 06, 2009 at 01:53
I don't envy you and the things you go through every day for your art, but I do appreciate the way you show the person. Not only your subjects, but also yourself.
Thank you and stay strong out there. You make a difference with every word you write, every picture you take, and every place you visit.
Posted by: stacy | January 08, 2009 at 01:10
more war crimes by israel - i cant believe us British were stupid enough to give them Palenstine, and a nuclear bomb. Wecome to world war 3 or as the zionists would call it - end game. I wonder if they know that most ppl in the UK would fight AGAINST them, on behalf of those they mistreat.
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Posted by: Catherine | May 21, 2010 at 08:36
I think it is an amazing picture. Unfortunately yes war creates terrible things but the arguement should not be, why are we there the arguement should be why arent people supporting our troops. We follow orders we go to protect our country. Whether you agree or disagree were there.
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