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Photojournalism Workshops


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  • Zoriah's photography has appeared in the following publications:
    Newsweek • The New York Times • CNN • Fortune • The Wall Street Journal • BBC News • The United States Library of Congress • NPR • Focus • ABC News • NBC • CBS • The United Nations • Paris Match •  Democracy Now •  NWK • GQ • Elle • Cosmopolitan • The New York Globe • UNICEF • The Guardian • Marketplace • The International Herald Tribune • Liberation • Europe Business Week •  The Huffington Post •  Michael Moore • PBS • Now • Penguin Publishing • The Copenhagen Star • The San Francisco Chronicle • World Economist • Shanghai Chronicle • World News Network • Newsweek Japan • Newsweek Arabic • Focus • Warner Brothers • Universal Studios • Beijing Globe • Cafe •  Publico • Fox News • Conde Nast • On The Media OTM • Penguin Books • L’Express • Grands Reportage • Suddeutsche Zeitung • L’illustre • Atlantico •  The Boston Review • The Center for Justice and Accountability (CJA) • Index on Censorship • BAGnewsNotes • American Medical News • Politikken • IPTV Mexico • Choc • Grazia Neri • Televizer • Aktueel • Knack • S.P.A. • Trends • Deng • Vi Menn • Capital • Roul Medica • Welt• L’Actualite • Cine Revu • Le Vif • L’Express • REA • Laif • Tendancess Trends • Cordon • Van Parys • Morepraxis • Fellowship of Reconciliation • AMSCO • Pearson • The Accept Foundation • Peacemaking Korea • India Trade News • Denmark Inc • World News • Columbia Globe • India Femina • Beijing Media • China Political • Business Stockholm • Business Daily • Europe Daily • Elle Taiwan • Oregon Examiner • Yangtze News • Offshore Investment News • WN Education • China News Agency • Education Chronicle • Situation • NYK Inc • US Jobs Market • Maritime Shanghai • Mercantile Europe • Elle New York • Securities Regulator • News Wire China • Oregon Examiner • Beijing Woman • Radio TV India • SEACOR • Lanka FM • Ohio Business News • Yangtze News • Estonia Observer • China Business Daily • Denmark FM • Female Asian • China Europe Business • North America Business • China Business TV • Dublin Markets • Business Delaware • Dhaka Business • New York Telemedia • Dublin Media • Securities Regulator • Business TV • Ningbo Times • General Motors GM • Political India • New York Hello • Virginia Inc • Transport Post • Automaker USA • Madras • Elle Thailand • HK Banking • Asia Confidential • Elle Mexico • Elle Japan • World Exploitation • Pennsylvania Inc • Global Auto Maker • Business Daily • Long Island Report • Finland Inc • NY Business • Toledo Globe • Oklahoma Tonight • Business Jamaica • USA Business Week • USA Financial Center • Business Daily • United States CEO • Tamil Nadu Business News • Ohio Inc • Jiangsu Post • Shanghai Financier • Hainan Daily • Maritime Shanghi • London Business News • North Carolina Inc • Club Asia • Harbor Work • China Business Journal • America Business Daily • Business Mumbai • L’Actualite • Situation • Money Talk UK • KWPN • Edinburgh Business • Business TV • World Photos • TV Andhra • USA Cable Business • G•Photo World News • Caritas Pordenone • Indian Rich List • Planet Telex • ICP  • Shumpu Press • Radio There • The Humanitarian Journal •TV Girls •  Story Culture   Krishnamurti Foundations  • KCFR Radio • The Metropolitan • The Washington Park Profile • Photography in the Fine Arts Quarterly - PFA • China Foto • AOP • Arch Digest • Profimedia CZ •The Click • Think Progress • Brave New Films • Photo News Today • Photo District News PDN • Turkish Weekly • Indy Media Ireland • Inter Press Service IPS • REA • Vanpar • Laif • Contra • Mondia • Cinerev • VIF • Ovation TV • Global Voices for Justice • ArgusFest • Labor Against War • MWC News • Nanfan Daily • Public Radio International PRI • WSWS • The Visual Conscience • Radio Canada • Eyes Fall Open • United Nations Development Programme UNDP • Young People We Care YPWC  • CNNI • Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press Magazine • VSD • On The Media • Spiegel • IEEE Spectrum Magazine • The CW • Pilgrim Films • Pilgrim Extreme • Newton • TLMD • Cosmos •  Al Rojo Vivo • Telemundo • Media Rights • Capital MRC • In Harms Way  •  New Internationalist Magazine  • Eyes Fall Open • PC •  Beeldzorg/Herman Hubrechts Design  •  DR Perspektiv • TVbyGirls  •  Barbara Wiener (Ida’s Story) • The Peace Jam Organization • The Veteran’s Project,  PhotoNetCast • Royal Danish School of Journalism • Peacereporter • OSE Institute •Michigan State University (MSU) • American Weapon (film) • ABC CLIO • History and the Headlines • Conclave:  A Journal of Character • SPQR Street Art • Good People, • Morning Star Features • The Vigil • Cox Channel 18 • Peace Train • OC Peace Coalition • Returning Veterans Resource Project • Art of War • Ovation TV • FreeDetainees • Truth.org • World Socialist • UNDP • Young People We Care YPWC • La Derniere Heure Les Sports • French Magazine VSD • RTTV • Fair • Extra • Peace Channel TV • La Dernière Heure Les Sports • Global Voices for Justice • FAIR/Extra! • The Rachel Corrie Foundation • The Evergreen State College • Massachusetts School of Law • The Mainichi Newspapers Company • Mainichi Shimbun • Educational Broadcasting Corporation (EBC) • Thirteen.org • Women War and Peace • Public Broadcasting System (PBS) • Radical Livros • Aktuel Sweden • Swedish Radio • The History Channel • Cindy Sheehan • Third Day Dawning • Muslim Aid • The Canadian University of Ottawa • Education and Sustainability Magazine • Finisterrae Magazine • Spyglass • Women and Gender Studies Institute • University of Toronto • Discover Magazine • PressTV • Sherwood Ross Associates • World Tour Destinations • Photographer Magazine • Ovideo TV • Fundacio la Caixa • Publico • Princeton University • Small Arms Survey • Press TV • Children of Palestine Show •  Boston University School of Public Health • Movement • PHOTO • DunnThe Signtologist • Moments • Harlow College • Stealworks Design/John Yates Design • Demotix • The Movement Magazine • Pluto Press • Coastal Traveler • One Click One Pic • Revolution Newspaper • Newsstand New Delhi • Laboratory • Arquitectura 21 • Be Profit • La Baiser Sale • Street Magazine Ukraine • Merritt Maddness • University of North Dakota • Wide Angle • WNET New York • Radical Livros • The Sunni-Shia Conflict • DePaul University • Iraq Memorial to Life • Coffee Strong • Nichterschienen • Q2A Media • Conspire Magazine • Conflict ZoneThe Film • Scientific Learning • Creed Interactive • Studio Angantyr • Digital SLR Photography Magazine • Ungvanster • World of Wonder • Socialist Union of Youth in Slovakia • Cordey Design Co • Avant Garde Life • Atelier Obscura • Rochester Institute of Technology • Left Bank Pictures • Strike Back • Badil Resource Center for Residency and Refugee Rights • Marywood University • Mans Unides • Salford University UK • CUNY Graduate School of Journalism • University of Miami Graduate School of Journalism • Trigger Happy Productions GmbH • Pilgrims • Global Humanitarian Forum • Vision Awards •  Why Palestine • Zoe D'Amato • Newscom • Freitag Berlin • Finis Terrae • Daily Kos • Arabawy • New Hampshire Public Radio • Andalus • TWS • Core Concepts • 54 Kol • Allvoices • The Corner Report • Informaworld • Firedoglake • Uncertain Times • Baboon Films • Nova Africa • La Figa • The San Francisco Chronicle • Snippits and Snappits • Verse and Melodie • Inanimate Existence • Intravenous Design • Twine • Architectural Design Journal •University of Design Sydney  • Cause + Art • OS Distribution • Carrot Clothing • Traditional Dwellings and Settlement Review • UC Berkley •  Global Oneness Project • Images Without Borders • Doctors Without Borders • Aferrismoon • Artview Magazine • Kiss Art • Viriato(film) • Al-Andalus Ensamble • Pana Films • Valley of The Wolves Palestine(film) • Tim Weaver/David Raker • Dominate (film) • L'Absente (film) • A Picture of War (film) • Flores del Fango • PetaPixel • EuroNews • A Picture of War (film) • Elite Model Management • Marilyn Models • Silent Models • The StateUniversity of New York • Tonic • PFC Eastern Cape Co • OpEdNews •The Jewish Journal • Europe 1 • Tipete • A Charts • The United Nationas (UN) • The International Red Cross amd Red Crescent Society • Doctors Without Borders • The International Criminal Court • International Medical Corps • The Center for Justice and Accountability (CJA) • Unicef • United Nations Development Program (UNDP) • The International Rescue Committee • Muslim Aid • The Elton John Center • Sihanouk Hospital • Accept Foundation • Index on Censorship • The Rachel Corrie Foundation • SH Chronic Care Facility • Morepraxis • Word Aids Day • Project Angel Heart • Chouk Sar Cambbodia • Sunrise Children’s Village • Prea Yesu Children’s Home • Pagoda Care • Little Sprouts • The Okinawa Reef Foundation • Fellowship Of Reconcilliation • Tsunami Relief • International Carnival of Pozitivities • Iraq Veterans Against War • Winter Soldier • Images of Resistance • The Palestine Chronicle • The Humanitarian Journal • Story Culture • Another Mother For Peace • ArgusFest • Global Voices for Justice • Healing Combat Trauma • U.S. Labor Against War • Eyes Fall Open • OSE Institute • Peacereporter • The Veteran’s Project • The Peace Jam Organization • Roul Medica • Mondo Library • Peacemaking Korea • Education Chronicle • ICP • Krishnamurti Foundations • Young People We Care (YPWC) • Media Rights • Barbara Wiener (Ida’s Story) •Returning Veterans Resource Project • FreeDetaiees • Archetypal Assoc • Good People • Peace Train • OC Peace Coalition • Ovation TV • Truth.org, World Socialist • Peace Channel TV • PhotoPhilanthropy • Women and Gender Studies Institute • Education and Sustainability Magazine • Women War and Peace• Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press Magazine • PhotoPhilanthropy • Fundacio la Caixa • Small Arms Survey • Boston University School of Public Health • Movement • Iraq Memorial to Life • Coffee Strong • Badil Resource Center for Residency and Refugee Rights • Mans Unides • Global Humanitarian Forum • Vision Awards • Global Oneness Project • Images Without Borders • Gaza Awareness Week • Ambassadors for Sustained Health • Hospice Saint Joseph Haiti •International Medical Corps • Littlest Angels Orphanage Haiti • One Plus One • Hatua International • Eleven59 •The National Association of Emergency Medical Technicians • Elsevier • The Better Gulf Organization • Avax Home • Mastercraft Safety • Uiversal Records • Rolling Stone Magazine • Warner Brothers Music • Virgin • Glamour Magazine • Mercury Records • Elle Magazine • Paris Match •  Cosmopolitan •  Mark Knopfler • Yeal Naim • Twentieth Century Fox  •  Penguin Publishing  •  David Donatien • CBS Television • GQ Magazine • Public Broadcasting System • Guillaume Perret • Tagada • Tugba Ukinci • Brave New Films • Morning Star Features • Pilgrim Films • The CW Network • Pilgrim Extreme • Eyes Fall Open • Universal Studios • The History Channel • Liquid Blue Inc • Conflict Zone The Film • Left Bank Pictures • Strike Back • Jamla Records • Trigger Happy Productions GmbH • Liquid Blue Band • Al-Andalus Ensamble • Celtic Sunrise • Billboard Magazine • Virgin Radion • Le Parisien • Pop Matters • Caesars Atlantic City • Direct Soir • Sensible Events • Royal Albert Hall • Mass Live • Mc2 Grenoble • What It Is • RumBum  • Irish Times • Net Planet, MLK • 06 Live • DigiTick • Zona Rock • Pik • Last • Larep • Seattle Weekly • Nartube • The Spaghetti Incident • The Sound • Sickplaylist • Live Nation • Jams Bio • Gerlant • The Daily • Nord Eclair • Europe 1  • Tunisie 24 • Tot Room Recordings  •2k • Digital Spy  • Music  • Freezec • Hellocoton France • The One Event • Pleaz • Music Story • Musique Ados • Alliance France  • Wikio • La Voix Des Sports •Orange Telecom • CityVox• Aufeminin • Le Fil • Starzik • Pure People • GreatSong • Lechorepublicain • Evous • CityVox  •  Au Fait • NRJ France Maroc • Museke • Charts in France • Fnac • Orange Telecom • Le Fil • I love Music Japan • Vasiliska • Pacific 2.1 Entertainment Group • Homeland tv • UltraTop • A Charts • Rennes Maville • Cultura • Andre Palais • Cherie FM •Sob o ceu de Paris • Rock n France • RFI • PurePeople • 8012 • Israbox • Padnova • RocknFrance • Europe 1 • Plixid • Mikki Says • Telemoustique • Idoles Mag • Notulus • Maville • RF Musique • Lavoix du Nord • Impactus • Music Zine • Concertive • Close Events • Alvinet • Elle Adore • Chorus 92 • Waxx Music • Laspikedelycmusic • Song Fox • Tunes Pro • Idoles Mag • CoVo Records • Notulus •  Book123 •  A Charts • Avax Home •  Music Zine •  Camus • JPC • Rock Report • AlbumCheck • LeProgres • Ander Palais • Dafina • News de Stars • Lavoix du Nord • Sneak Attack Media • Culture Club • Stars are Underground •  Klatsch Tratsch • Artist Area • NWZ Inside • CD Starts •  Bizarre Radio • Mykritik • 

SADR CITY


Lectures

  • Public Presentations and Lectures
    Zoriah has begun to devote a portion of each year to lecturing and presenting to universities, institutions and at political events. For universities, a typical itinerary consists of two days of presentations to multiple departments followed by a public, multi-departmental lecture. The presentations can be tailored in length and subject matter to each department and the multidepartmental lecture currently consist of a thirty minute slideshow showcasing recent work from Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Palestine, the Asian Earthquake and the Tsunami. The lecture touches on many subjects including the art of visual storytelling, the current state of the media and my own thoughts on documenting life in conflict. Lectures can be tailored to the need of each individual organization, university or event.

Support Independent Journalism

  • DONATE!
    Each photo story that I bring to the world costs literally thousands of dollars to produce. While transportation to and from remote locations eats up the majority of my budget, I must also pay for food, accommodation, insurance and equipment such as body armor, cameras, lenses, photo storage and equipment maintenance costs. - These photo stories depend on your support and funding. Without your donations these projects will live only in my dreams and not in reality, where the world can see them and be affected by them. If you enjoy seeing this work and believe in supporting truly independent photojournalism, please support it. - The power of the still image to teach, affect and inspire change is truly amazing and people like you make it all possible. Every dollar counts! - You can choose to make a one time donation, or set up recurring monthly payments. If you have not considered recurring monthly payments, these are a great way to fund ongoing projects without putting a strain on your pocketbook. - Because documentary photography is my full time job, recurring payments provide a much needed monthly income and let me focus on the issues that are truly important, intead of what subjects will sell to the corporate media. - - Secure donations can be made below with PayPal. If you are not comfortable with online payments, please contact us for an address to mail a money order or cashiers check to

A RETURN TO BAGHDAD ER


Available Workshops: Location Tailored to Interest

  • Mexico:
    Fossil Fuel Impact. Document car culture and its effects on the environment in one of the worlds most polluted cites, Mexico City.
  • Israel and Palestine:
    Compare and contrast life in Jerusalem and life in the West Bank city or Ramallah.
  • Indonesia:
    Child Drug Addicts. Photograph the lives of children addicted to inhalants.
  • Morocco:
    Travel Photography. Travel from Cassablanca to Marakesh and produce a travel related photo series.
  • Honduras:
    Travel and Underwater Photography. Students produce a travel story with two to five days being underwater photography instruction by Zoriah and the master divers at Ocean Connections PADI Dive Shop. *students without a scuba diving license will complete a three day licensing course durning the beginning of the workshop.
  • Laos:
    Shoestring Travel. Students travel through Laos and produce a story geared to budget minded travelers and backpackers - Brazil: Amazonian Deforestation. Work in the Amazon Basin documenting the environmental impact of clear cutting.
  • Japan:
    Technology and The Modern World. Explore the role of technology in our lives in one of the most advanced cities on planet earth. *Japan workshops have higher tuitions and higher living costs.
  • Turkey:
    The New Face of The Refugee Crisis. Live in an urban jungle pupulated by refugees from around the world while documenting their lives...and your own.
  • Philippines:
    Poverty's Environmental Impact: Work in urban slums to show the impact of poverty on the ocean and environment.
  • Lebanon:
    Palestinian Refugees. Spend time photographing the lives of Palestinian refugees living in camps around the country.
  • Nicaraqua:
    Shanty Towns. Documenting life in extreme poverty.
  • China:
    Modernizing an Ancient Culture. Document how modernization and progress effect an ancient culture in the amazing city of Shanghai.
  • India:
    Beggars life. Spend one week documenting the life of homeless or "untouchable" man or woman.
  • Pakistan and Kashmir:
    Working in Extreme Conditions. This workshop is designed to give higher-level students a chance to experience work under adverse conditions.
  • Vietnam
    Comparing urban and rural poverty. Students spend half the workshop photographing in Saigon and the other half in Chau Doc or another small village.
  • Cambodia
    AIDS Orphans - live in an orphanage and document the lives of one or more children.

Biography

  • Zoriah is an award-winning photojournalist whose work has been featured in some of the world’s most prestigious galleries, museums and publications. Zoriah's clients have included The BBC, Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, ABC News, NPR, Focus and many others. With a background in Disaster Management and Humanitarian Aid, Zoriah specializes in documenting human crises in developing countries. His vitae not only lists photographic achievements and study, but also the in-depth training and experience necessary for working under extreme conditions in some of the world's harshest environments
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Rights and Usage

  • Images and text from this blog may be republished online in blogs as long as full credit is given. A link to http://www.zoriah.com must be given as well as a credit line under each image reading "© zoriah/www.zoriah.com" The owner holds all original copyright and licenses. Republishing rights for bloggers only, companies, organizations, NGO's and similar must first obtain permission before republishing. Contact www.zoriah.com/contact for more information or email info at zoriah dot com.

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« Haitian Earthquake - Documenting the Earthquake in Haiti | Main | Photojournalism Workshops - Haiti Earthquake Intimate Group Workshop »

January 26, 2010

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小王问邻居: 你老婆越来越厉害了,前几天当众用手打你,今天我看都用脚踹了,怎么回事? 邻居: 前几天她买了块高级雷达表,今天她买了双鳄鱼皮鞋。我现在担心的是,那天她要是买条珍珠腰带,还不得当众解下来啊。 还是你厉害... 有三个人同时到达天堂; 神问他们说: 你想你们家人在你们的尸体前面怎么说你们。 第一个人是说了: 我最希望我家人说,他是多好的医生啊,救活了多少人的生命啊。 第二个人说到: 他多优秀啊,一生教书育人,改变了多少人的前途啊。 第三个人不屑的说道: 切,我最想听到家人说,瞧,他动了!!! 活下去的动力 每次觉得灰心丧气的时候,就去看看刘翔跨栏的视频,然后告诉自己说,看,没什么过不去的;老婆学做水煮鱼 老婆不会做饭,平常都是我在家做饭。 有一天在家,她突然抢着要做饭,声称要试着做个简单的菜,从头学起。没办法,我只好在客厅里看电视,耐心等待老婆的 处女座 。 四十分钟后,老婆把饭全做好了,把我叫到厨房。 老婆说: 做了个简单的菜 水煮鱼! 我兴奋地掀开锅盖后,傻了眼:锅里的确是水煮鱼 清汤里一条鲤鱼!没有老婆就行 昨夜,儿子正在玩啪啪圈,上面有喜羊羊和灰太狼的图案。 儿子问我: 妈妈,这些图案里你最喜欢谁? 我看了一眼说: 里面谁的头像是两个的,我就喜欢谁。 儿子: 妈妈,你喜欢又懒又馋的懒羊羊呀。 我问: 宝贝,你喜欢谁呢? 儿子: 灰太狼,虽然他整天抓不到羊,但是会很多发明,他最聪明了。 我问: 如要你是灰太狼,你能抓到小羊吗? 儿子: 只要没有老婆就行。&rdq中文幽默王

公孙先生,公孙先生,本府发现将人名的最后一个字与居所结合命名, 有时会很好玩耶 包拯兴致勃勃, 比如我叫包拯,我的住所就是拯所, 展昭的住所就是招待所... 所以呢? 公孙策怒道: 你到底想说什么? 你说你到底想怎样才不杀我 寝室里,俩室友吵架闹别扭了! 刚开始俩人都很倔谁都不让谁。 B室友气得躲进被窝玩手机了, 一会她忽然跳起来对A室友说:A,和好吧!! A室友莫明其妙的瞪了她一眼不说话。 B就哭了:你以为我想认输认错啊? 我还不是怕咱学校咱寝室又发生被室友杀害的命案, 你说你到底想怎样才不杀我?你到底还爱不爱我 坐公交车,上来个尼姑。 坐下没过多久,她手机响了,铃声是《清心咒》。 她从兜里拿出一索爱LT18I,电话通了大概有一刻钟。 刚开始细声细语,越说越激动,最后尼姑忽然尖叫一声 你到底还爱不爱我?我怀孕了! 整部车突然安静了下来!你到底想说什么 公孙先生,公孙先生,本府发现将人名的最后一个字与居所结合命名,有时会很好玩耶! 包拯兴致勃勃, 比如我叫包拯,我的住所就是拯所,展昭的住所就是招待所 所以呢? 公孙策怒道: 你到底想说什么? 撕个什么劲啊 今天弟弟在学校犯错误被叫家长了 我爸班都没上跑到办公室问什么情况。 爸爸: 又犯啥事了? 弟弟: 我把课本撕了 爸爸: 撕课本干啥?不想读书了? 弟弟: 别人都撕呢。 我爸一巴掌就扇他脑袋上了: 你个小兔崽子,别人高三撕书, 你一小学生撕个什么劲啊? 有什么不同 甲: 外国叫竞选,我们叫选举,有什么不同? 乙: 竞选是竞争着选出,选举是选好了再举手。走过

一喜欢街舞的男人听到金属音乐,让他边走边情不自禁地动了起来,那动感的身体让旁边的少男少女们纷纷侧目。 正在这时,一大妈走了过来,一脸怜惜: 唉,这谁家的孩子,居然患了小儿多动症。 居然有十万粉丝 A:哇,你微博粉丝有10万8千多! B:那10万是我买的。 A:不过你能有8千多也不少了,我还赶不上你的个零头呢。 B:8千是买完赠的 二小儿辩斗 孔子东游,遇二小儿辩斗,问其故。 一小儿曰:我以日本生自山东,故属东。 一小儿曰:夕阳西下,日本归山西也明矣,是以属西。 孔子不能决,后以问老子。 老子笑曰:孰为汝多知乎?日本无根基,岂能算东西 !!中文幽默王

一名同学对他的伙伴说: 我的茶杯摔在地上,却没有流出半滴水,这是为什么,你知道吗? 那个茶杯是空的? 不对!杯子里装的是牛奶。为什么又统一了

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解放初,文工团上四川演出后,记者采访观看演出的老百姓,文工团里谁最漂亮,结果没人出声;记者问难道他们都不漂亮吗?那你们认为谁漂亮呢? 就有老百姓说:李万姬最漂亮。记者想这里没有叫李万姬的呀!问大家为什么? 老百姓告诉记者:如果李万姬不漂亮,那为什么领袖xxx日李万姬,周xx日李万姬。难道不是她最漂亮吗????

毕业典礼上,校长宣布全年级第一名的同学上台领奖,可是连续叫了好几声之後,那位学生才慢慢的走上台。 後来,老师问那位学生说∶「怎麽了?是不是生病了?还是刚才没听清楚?」 学生答∶「不是的,我是怕其他同学没听清楚。」

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有个读书人,家里很穷,却很爱面子。 有个晚上,小偷去他家偷盗。他家里空空如也,什么也没有。小 偷骂道:“又碰到了穷鬼/骂完就走了。这读书人听见了,就从床头摸出仅有的几文钱,追上小愉,对他说:“对不起,你来得真不巧,这几文钱请拿去。在别人面前,请千万包涵。”

老大、老二乘坐飞机,老二晕机,不停呕吐。一袋吐满,老大只好去取袋子,等他回来时,发觉全机人都在不停呕吐。老大问其原因,老二说:“我看到这只袋子也吐满了,只好又喝进去了半袋,结果他们就全吐了。”

有一个地主生了一个儿子,他希望他儿子有头有脸,就给他儿子取名叫脸,同年,他的奴隶家也生了个儿子,地主给他儿子取名叫屁股,哪知地主的儿子不幸夭折了.多年后,地主看见奴隶的儿子再那边玩,便说;"要是我的脸还在,就有屁股那么大了.

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周朝有个人,特别喜欢贵重的狐皮袄和珍贵的食品。他梦寐以求,想缝制一件价值千金的狐皮袄,还想准备一桌祭祀用的美味食品。他郑重其事地去找狐狸商量,要剥取它的毛皮;和羊商量要割取它们的肉。可是,不等他把话说完,狐狸和羊都逃走了。因此,这个周人10年也未能制成一件皮衣,5年也没做成一桌祭祀用的美味食品。

原曲:你喜欢的会有几个原唱:周华健词曲:改编歌词:之一:我的眼睛叫做朦胧,我的心里正在做梦,我的愿望叫做清醒,我的时间叫我快停.经常断线是猫不行,经常被踢是你不文明,没有帽子是你不真诚,没有网友是你不懂倾听。网上闲聊是不是有用,是打发寂寞还是增进友情,网上闲聊是不是有用,是诉说心事还是寻找感动,请你说明.之二:我的眼睛叫做疲倦,我的心情叫做留恋,我的愿望叫做不眠,我的钟表让我断线。要我戒网确实很难,去交话费让我瞪眼,交纳不起是我没钱,盼着网费再降一半。你的话费是多少钱,是一百两百还是一千两千你的话费是多少钱,是三百四百还是公费上网,不用你掏钱。

老友旅游归来,讲她的经历:在一处寺院, 一位和尚童鞋看着功德箱里面的钱喊道: 没钱就别往里投!投张冥币算什么意思? 旁边一位游客连忙解释: 那不是冥币,是韩元。 那是栏杆 两个喝醉了酒的士兵沿着铁路轨道踉踉跄跄地朝营地走去。 其中一个打着酒嗝说: 不对劲呀! 另一个说: 怎么不对劲? 吉姆,我当兵以来还没有见过这么长的梯子, 你瞧,那些横在路上的阶梯怎么没有个完? 另一个叽叽咕咕地说: 不,不对,那不是梯子,那是栏杆。 那是他不会打 两个妇女聊天,一个说: 我家那口子,天天爱打牌,还打什么输什么,不过,就麻将这上面没输过钱。 另一个道: 看起来是个麻将高手啊。 她: 屁,那是他不会打。 韩元 和老妈去旅游,在寺庙功德箱里赫然看到一张印有古代人头像和仪器的纸币,老妈勃然大怒,喊到: 这素质,不捐就不捐,扔什么冥币! 我小声提醒: 小声点,那是韩元你们能回答吗?

一室友,名雪儿,头发乌黑齐腰,且前后一般长, 每次梳头都会像贞子一样披下来,看不到脸,大家见怪不怪。 新来一室友,想和正在梳头的雪儿说话, 转了两圈实在忍不住问到: 雪儿,哪个是正面 兄弟你是哪个单位的 甲开车被交警测出酒驾,交警让哥们拿出驾驶本。 甲却对交警说: 小子别你现在这么神气早晚你得落在我手里。 交警一听以为甲有来历急忙问: 兄弟你是哪个单位的? 甲说: 我,我是火葬场的! 是响多了 男子诉道: 大师,医生说我这样下去, 迟早会得忧郁症的。我该怎么办呀? 大师一口气没有憋往,连放了二个响屁。 长长地一伸腰道: 没想到,一个屁要二次放完。 男子不解地问: 大师,你是要我当它是放屁。 大师一摆手,道: 是响多了! 只有正面没有反面的纸 男子问禅师: 大师,我女朋友有很多优点, 但缺点让我难以忍受,怎样让她没有缺点呢? 禅师: 方法简单,不过你要先下山为我找到一张只有正面没有反面的纸回来。 男子下山,一会又上山来,递给禅师一张《人民日报》, 见罢,禅师就一掌把男子打死了。。。大家都把口水吐在正面 某国总统为了提高自己的声望,决定发行一种上面印有自己的脸的邮票,发行了一个多月后,总统决定到邮局查看销售情形。 总统:销售情形怎样啊? 员工:还不错 只不过有人常常抱怨贴不牢 总统:怎么会呢? 语毕,总统顺手抄起了一张邮票,在背面吐了一口口水,用力黏在一张纸上。 总统:你看这不是贴的很牢吗?! 员工:可是 大家都 大家都 把口水 吐在正面我就是那个sb

楼主伤不起啊 今天逛论坛,看到一个帖子:头发上粘上了口香糖怎么办? 1L:很简单,取40克鲜芦根、10克防风,加适量冰糖,煎汤饮服, 每日3次,连服数日,即可去除口臭,彻底告别口香糖 LZ:你白痴?我问口香糖粘在头发上怎么办,你告诉我怎么去口臭,我没口臭好么! 1L:啥?你没口臭?那你吃啥口香糖啊?!装逼呢?!活该!中文幽默王

一哥们上公交后,车上挺空旷的,他却一直站在门口,直到下一个站他才走到座位上坐下。 我当时就纳闷了,后来看到他背后的包都变形了,我懂了。快捷的付款方式

某留学生在英国打官司,让英国律师给法官送礼,律师说: 万万不可,送了你肯定输! 最后留学生还是向法官送了礼,但官司却赢了。 律师百思不得其解,留学生说: 我给法官邮寄了包裹,但写的是对方当事人的名字!新保姆

坐地铁好不容易抢到位置,过了一站又上来一个老人。 我起身让座,结果旁边的一妹子一屁股坐了。 我怒道: 这是给老人让的! 妹子不理我只是低头玩手机。 无奈转身,对着她默默地放了一个闷屁。关你屁事

医生:“你的牙是该拔掉了,可它太牢固了,看来拔掉它得用火车头。”过了几天,医生再次见到这位病人,他的牙已经掉了。“你的牙怎么拔的?”“听了您的建议,我把牙拴在了火车头上,结果……”“牙掉了?”“不,两节车厢都被我拉出了轨。”“那你的牙是怎么掉的?”“让铁路工人给打的。”

小强牵着他的母牛和新生的小牛,准备拿到市场上去卖,不幸在路上被一群强盗洗劫,强盗打了小强一顿后,不仅脱光了他的衣服,还把他绑在一棵树上,还把母牛也带走,只留下那只小牛。 可怜的小强,就这样被绑在树上站了三天三夜,又冷又饿。幸好第四天一名中年妇人路过,帮小强松了绑,只见小强一得自由之后,马上捡起地上的木棍拼命捧那只小牛。 中年妇人便骂小强说:你干什么啊?虐待它啊?小强说:这三天来,我不断跟这头该死的畜生说,我不是你妈妈,我不是你妈妈。它还是吸个不停!!

一对新婚夫妇在争吵,后来,妻子再也忍受不住,哭了起来。“我要跟你吹,我要去收拾东西,离开这里,去我母亲那里。”“很好,我亲爱的,车费钱在这里。”她的丈夫说。她接过钱数了起来,然后她说:“我回来的路费呢。”

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“艾尔姆,妻子问道:“你怎么不再和泰德下棋了呢?”“你愿意和一个赢了就趾高气扬,输了就要骂人的人下模吗?”“噢,当然不愿意,”妻子明白了。“他也不愿意同这样的人下。”丈夫回答。

有人问指挥官:“在您的部队里,您为什么宁愿要那些结了婚的士兵呢?”“因为结了婚的士兵即使挨了克,也能唯唯诺诺地执行命令。”

从前有一个人,他有一个女朋友。他比世界上任何一个人都爱她。可是有一天,他女朋友无情的离开了他,甚至连一个理由都没给他。看着自己的女朋友被别人挽着手逛街,他痛不欲生,失去了理智。终于有一天他把女朋友杀了。本来他打算杀了她以后自杀的。可是将死之时才感到生命的可贵。从此以后他天天被噩梦困扰,梦境中他女朋友赤身露体,披头散发,红舌垂地,十指如钩来向他索命。噩梦把他折磨的形如销骨,一天他找来一个道士已求摆脱。道士要他做三件事第一,把他女朋友的尸体好好安葬第二,把他女朋友生前穿的睡衣烧掉第三,把藏起来的血衣洗干净所有的事情必须在三更之前完成,要不就会有杀身之祸!他遵照道士的嘱咐把所有的事情都做的很仔细,可是那件血衣却怎么也找不到了。马上就要三更了,豆大的汗珠从他脸上滴下来把地毯都打湿了。在将要三更的时候他找到了那件血衣,可是不管怎么怎么搓就是洗不掉。这时候忽然狂风大作,电闪雷鸣。窗户被狂风拍打的左右摇曳,玻璃的碎裂声让人更加心惊肉跳,突然所有的灯全灭了,整个屋子一片漆黑。闪电中,只见他女朋友穿着染满鲜血的睡衣,眼睛里滴着血,满脸狰狞的指着他厉声道:“你知道为什么洗不掉血迹吗??”他被吓呆了一句话说不出女朋友继续道:“因为你没有用雕牌洗衣粉,笨蛋。”

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煮熟了再种从前有个笨人,有天闲得无聊,抓了几粒稻子吃起来,觉得又扎嘴、又苦涩。他想:如果把稻子去掉皮壳,再煮熟就是非常好吃的米饭;如把煮熟的米种到地里,将来收获时不更好吃了吗?于是,他煮了一锅米饭,撒到地里。结果如何呢?

一个老是惹麻烦的孩子的母亲患上了忧郁症。心理医生建议道:“因为你孩子的问题,你总是处于过度担心和闷闷不乐的状态中,我建议你有规律地服用这种镇定药。别太担心你的孩子,他会慢慢地懂事的。”过了一周,医生打电话向孩子的母亲询问情况:“那些镇定药的效果如何?”“不错,挺好。”孩子的母亲答道。“孩子呢?有进展吗?”“谁管他啊,谁爱管谁管去。”

某夜,一男子做梦。见自己拿刀追一头猪。男子穷追猛打。那头猪一直跑呀跑呀 忽然,猪停住了脚步痛苦万分的说了一句人话: 本是同根生,相煎何太急呀! 男子谔然:是你逼我的。

在六七十年代,人们普遍还是认为法海是为了捉妖才会囚禁许仙的;在八九十年代,人们基本上认同法海是因为喜欢白蛇才会为难许仙的;但到了21世纪,大众几乎都觉得法海是因为想得到许仙才会与白素贞大打出手的!

妻子:“我和你结婚,你试想有几个男人在失望呢?”丈夫:“哼!那大概只有我一个人吧! ”

“爸爸,我来演马戏团里的大狗熊吧。”“那我干什么呢?”“您演那个陪狗熊玩的叔叔,不断地把好吃的塞到我的嘴里。”

有一天,有一个老伯,想要去检查他还行不行……于是,他就进了医院……看了医生....医生:“把这罐子装满,明天带过来化验。”老伯:“好。”隔天……医生:“你怎么没把罐子装满??”老伯:“其实,事情是这样子的……”老伯:“原本我是用右手试……结果不行,也用左手试了一次……也不行,之后老婆回来了……她也是一样,左右手都不行,我还叫她用嘴巴哩!结果还是不行,最后,我叫我女儿帮忙,也是不行,所以……”医生:“哇!!!!!!还叫你女儿用啊?!”老伯:“对啊,所以我来请你帮个忙……”医生:“呃!!!!!!不会吧!!!!!别开玩笑了……”老伯:“唉喔!这不是开玩笑啦!只是叫你把罐子打开而已呀……”

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东汉有个太守叫羊续,是个很清廉的人,他刚到南阳上任, 下属给他送了一条大鱼,他百般推辞不掉,只能把他挂在堂前, 以显清正。从此,其他下属再也不好意思送比那更小的鱼了。以牙戒酒 小李不小心喝高了,回家的时候摔了一跤,摔得挺厉害,把门牙摔掉了。只好到牙科去治牙。 医生说: 你这牙需要先拔下来,然后再换成新的。 小李无奈,只好听医生的。医生把半截牙拔下来就要扔掉。 小李说: 别扔,我想留着。 医生说: 已经没用了。 小李: 我知道,我只是想把它放在掉牙的地方,在上面竖一个牌,只要我一经过那里,我就想起喝醉酒了,牙掉了,以此激励我戒酒。 医生感到很惊讶,说: 你说的真以高考移民为目的的骗婚案 怀孕的包惜弱带着杨铁心的后代嫁给完颜洪烈,若干年后等儿子杨康接受完高等教育后,又回到杨铁心身边,残忍地抛弃了完颜洪烈。 据考证,这是人类历史上第一起以高考移民为目的的骗婚案。哭了显老 女甲:莉莉的老公昨天出车祸去世了! 女乙:真的吗?这对莉莉来说打击太大了! 女甲:是的! 女乙:那她哭的很厉害吧? 女甲:莉莉在车祸现场一点也没有哭! 女乙:真看不出她的内心这么强大。 女甲:也不是,莉莉告诉我,她不能哭!一哭,脸上皱纹就多,显老!点猪肉显档次显身份 一家餐厅,两个大款,服务员正在等点菜。 大款A:红烧猪肉。 大款B:你以前不是不吃猪肉,现在爱吃了? 大款A:这你就不懂了吧!以前猪肉什么价?现在什么价?点猪肉显档次显身份!今天是假周末

看到一个广告。 一个男的坐在凳子上,旁边的服务员再说: 红烧牛肉面,红烧什么什么面。 那个男的说: 诶,怎么老是红烧味? 说着,哗!丢出一包卤肉面。 我就想问:既然他有面,干嘛还要来面馆呢?小猫怎么知道我叫‘苗苗’ 一天,我领着三岁的女儿苗苗在小区里玩。当我们坐在石凳上不久后,不知道从哪窜出来一只小猫来到女儿的跟前。隔壁的白痴老是接话茬 一男子入厕,刚把门关上,就听隔壁问:你来了? 他说:是啊。可心里想,这隔壁是谁啊?我认识他吗?奇怪! 这时隔壁又问:你来干吗啊? 他很生气的说:拉屎啊!来这能干吗?! 隔壁又问,那你什么时候走啊? 他想:这人估计是有神经病!他懊恼的说:拉完就走!! 这时隔壁又问:那一会你来我这里一下吧,好吗? 此人心里一惊:CAO!原来是同性恋! 他大骂道:你TMD去死吧,变态! 隔壁又说:恩,先挂了吧,一会再给你打过去,我旁边来了个傻B!老TMD跟我接妻子最近老是肚子疼 一个人打电话给医生: 大夫,我妻子最近总是肚子疼,像是得了盲肠炎。 医生: 我记得二年前给你太太做过盲肠切除手术,没有见过一个人身上长两条盲肠的啊。 这个人道: 难道你就没听说过一个男人可能有两个妻子吗? 红烧王八蛋 六男一女上饭馆吃饭,席间,服务员上来一道菜,一顾客问:啥菜? 服务员道:红烧王八蛋。顾客又道:你给我们分一下。 服务员为难道:咋分?你们七个人六个王八蛋。抓了它们红烧 一山林幽谷之处, 少爷,你看在这山清水秀之地定居如何? 山山水水我在府里难道还少见吗? 可是哪有这般自然,而且你想想,当清晨阳光洒落,有美丽的鸟儿在窗外欢快的为你歌唱,你难道还会赖床吗? 当然不会,我要起床抓了它们红烧!!中文幽默王

一个肥胖的贵妇人,听从了医生的劝告,准备减肥。她让丈夫给她买上一匹好马,打算每天骑上一个小时,丈夫替她办好了这件事。 一个月过后,一天,贵妇人骑马归来,正好遇见办事回来的丈夫,丈夫朝她望了望说:“下降了20公斤! ” “噢,真的吗! ”贵妇人高兴地叫了起来。 “对,”丈夫说道,“我指的是咱们的马。”

水母乙:“什么是眼睛啊?”水母甲:“我也不知道,上次和別人撞到的时候他这样骂我的。”水母乙:“喔!是这样喔! ”

你快乐因为我快乐,我开心因为你开心,我愁了因为你瘦了,我瘦了因为你病了,我笑了因为你壮了,我有钱了因为把你卖了……猪啊!我是一个暗恋你的人,见到你的第一眼我就认定你是我今生该等的人,但我唯一的遗憾是……抱歉,我发错人了当你默默离开我时,我痛苦万分,不知如何是好,看着你的背影远去,我恨自己,都是我的错……早起一点就赶上车了你知道吗?我天天都在想你,夜夜都在念你。吃饭时想、睡觉时想、工作时想,很想对你说……快点还钱你善良像猫儿,你忠实像狗儿,你可爱像鸟儿,你识途像马儿,你出色像蝶儿,你勤劳像蜂儿,你什么都相像,也难怪大家都叫你……禽兽第一眼见到你,我就对自已说:你就是我今生的奋斗目标,我要追求你,拥抱你。我要宣布:我爱你……人民币没有你的日子,生活变得难受,我恨那个可恶的第三者将你抢走,你和他是否有了新感情?好想你回到我身边——钱包害羞的我有一句话一直都不敢向你表白,但是今天我终于鼓起勇气:你什么时候请我吃饭?如果没有风,云不会动;如果没有水,鱼不能游;如果没有太阳,月亮就不会有光;如果没有你……笨人也就不存在了食客:睡觉多少钱一晚?(水饺多少钱一碗)服务员:流氓!(六毛)商人:六毛?这么平宜。我来三晚。当我穷困潦倒时,在我身旁的是你;当我生病受伤时,在我身边的是你;当我情场失意时,在我身旁的还是你……跟你在一起真倒霉你一闪而过,令我热血沸腾,心潮澎湃,望着你的背影,真想把你留住,我告诉自己,不能再让你离开,绝不……抓贼啊!茫茫人海中,为你怦然心动,你好似不在意的表情,却让我隐隐作痛,你的漠然让我不敢表白心迹,可我不能自拔,现在我要你明白……你踩着我脚啦这段日子以来,我一直想对你说三个字,但又怕说了连普通朋友也做不成,可我控制不住,还是想说:借点钱!我怎么忍心看着你离去?我们一起度过了多少温馨快乐的时光,可是今天就要分手!望着你哀怨的眼神,我大喊:等一等,这狗我不卖了今天有人看见你了,你还是那样迷人,穿着格子背心,慢悠悠地走着,一副超然自在的样子,实在是可爱极了,真不知你当年是怎么赛过兔子的?

一次和朋友喝酒,从下午喝到晚上,白的喝不动就全换成红酒了,最后我一手举着杯中酒一手拍着他的肩膀,刚要说掏心窝的话,他把嘴里以及为吸收的红酒全吐身上了,他愣了一秒,抱头大哭,那就一个惨心裂肺,我无奈的说:“不就吐了我一身吗,没事,咱谁跟谁,别哭”,他抬起头对我说:“X,我吐的是血,一定是得了绝症了……”,我当时就无语了……

这是我和我的一个朋友的一段对话:——昨天我看见你太太了。她咳得那么厉害,大家都看着她。她一定病得不轻吧?——啊,不,她只不过穿了一件新裙子罢了。你猜到哪个是我吗?就是那个爱炫耀的太太的那位。哎,真没办法!

父亲对儿子约翰的调皮捣蛋、不爱学习很是恼火。这天,他把约翰叫过来,教育他说: 你真不知害臊,人家华盛顿像你这么大的时候 小约翰打断父亲的话,说: 爸爸,华盛顿像你这么大的时候,已经是美国总统了。

白素贞: 法海,你不懂爱! 法海: 老子连地段最繁华的雷峰塔都给你了,你还想怎样! 白素贞: Kao,可是开门的钥匙只有你那一把,都几百年了,从没有男人进来过,你这2货

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餐馆里一位顾客叫住了跑堂的:“亲爱的先生,这块牛排简直没法吃! ”跑堂:“这关我什么事?您应该到公牛那里去抱怨。”顾客:“是呀!所以我才叫住了您。”

记者采访何仙姑: 请问您和潘金莲有区别吗? 何仙姑: 你说荷花和莲花什么区别? 记者: 荷花漂亮! 何仙姑: 那不就是了,还问我做什么! 记者恍然大悟: 仙姑就是仙姑,我等望尘莫及啊!

太成功:成功男人背后的女人很伟大,成功女人背后的男人很渺小太有学问:郎才女貌是经典,郎貌女才却是笑话。太聪明:女人太聪明,男人没有安全感。太好强:女人太好强,男人没有面子。太漂亮:红颜易老,再漂亮日子久了也会看厌,摆在家里惹事,担心红杏出墙。太不漂亮:丑妻家中宝,不过只限于别人家中。太没品位:显得男人很没品位。太有主见:你喜欢替男人做主,但是男人不喜欢被你作践。太娇贵:上下班要人接,上下车要人扶,上下床要人抱。太自卑:对自己没有信心,一遇上竞争对手就自愧不如。太贪玩:男人喜欢女人好玩,但不喜欢女人贪玩!太贪心:别人有的,一定要有,别人没有的,也要有。太虚荣:假装出身名门,幻想嫁入豪门。太风骚:男人爱惹你,但不愿娶你。太吃醋:花心的男人不会娶一个吃醋的女人回家,不花心的男人养不活一个吃醋的女人。太啰嗦:对男人啰嗦是难免的,但注意请在结婚后使用。太不主动:虽然要有人向你求婚才能嫁,但是也要你主动去找人向你求婚才行。

一个女孩打电话给我,向我谈起这样一件事:她的男友在大庭广众之下吻了她一下,使她很失面子。她曾反复告诫男友,可男友就是“恶习”不改。她一怒之下就打了男友一记耳光,闹得两人非常尴尬,彼此冷淡了一个多月,谁都没向谁认错道歉。可她从心里又觉得男友英俊潇洒、学业事业都很成功,只是有些浪漫而已,本想教训她一番,不是真心想放弃这份“恋情”。她问我:“该如何处理这份感情?”我略微思考了一会儿,就对她说:“男友吻你,这没有错,只是吻的场合不太合适;你打了男友一记耳光,这也没有错,只是打得不是时候,如果周围没有第三者,你打他一两下,他会很‘皮实’的。恋爱中的人之间因情吵架都没有错,关键是要处理得适当适度,给对方留有回旋余地。你最好找一位知己,将自己的想法转告给你的男友,如果你的男友是一个宽宏大量的人,他不会记恨你的‘一掌’之仇的。千万别因‘爱’而‘恨’啊! ”她听了我的话后欢喜地笑起来,连说“谢谢”。静静地坐下来,想一想这件事,觉得现在的年轻男女谈起恋爱来,真是花样繁多,情趣盎然,令人琢磨不定。每个年轻人都生活在各自独特的文化氛围和环境中,所以说每个人的性格、修养、气质各有自身的优势和不足。自己能接受的恋爱方式和示爱举动,也要先为对方考虑一下,看对方能否接受和满意,要不,真会闹出误会和不快的事。恋爱中女人常犯的错误一、投入得太快当你与他相识之后,不要期望每个周末都与他共度,或是坚持要替他重新布置他的家居。一定不要心急哟!二、太早接纳对方想与男朋友分手的最快捷的方法是告诉他:你爱他,要为他生一个孩子。他的反应多半是逃得无影无踪。三、自欺欺人你是否清楚他的每一项表现背后的动机?他是否同时与别的女孩约会?你们多长一段时间联络一次?你真的认定他是托付终身的对象?你以为他那暴戾的脾气不是什么严重的毛病?四、打扮过分夸张你应该表现的是自信、大方、得体,吸引力并不在于过分卖弄性感。男性会认为天然的吸此力胜过人为的加工。五、说话太多即使你们都很渴望互相了解,也用不着在最初几次约会里就将一生的经历如数家珍般道出。沉默往往是女性的魅力之一。六、太在乎他的钱如果你点了一份龙虾晚餐,并且告诉他你最喜欢的饰物是钻石的话,那就请尽快地享受这顿吧。你将不会再见到他。男人喜欢有见识的女人,而不是那些一心找寻长期饭票的人。七、过早邀请他回家有些男人以为你邀请他回家就是邀请他上床,因此最好多等一段时间。待你们有了进一步了解之后,就不会产生类似的尴尬场面。八、取悦对方太卖劲你以为替他洗衣服、做饭及料理家务,他就会更喜欢你吗?请再仔细想想看,如果你甘愿做他的“保姆”他就会毫不客气地录“少爷”。(恋爱中女人常犯的错误:投入得太快)

温斯顿·邱吉尔是世界著名的政治领袖。他在担任英国首相期间,有一次,他的政治对手阿斯特夫人对他说:“如果我是您夫人,我一定会在您的咖啡里放进毒药! ”邱吉尔听了,笑着说:“如果我是您丈夫,我一定会把这杯咖啡喝下去! ”

拉比讲了个故事:“从前,一个贫穷的樵夫在森林深处捡到了一个婴儿。他怎样才能养活这个婴儿呢?他祈求上帝,这样奇迹出现了:樵夫长出了一对乳房,他能给这婴儿喂奶了。” “拉比,”一位信徒反驳道,“这故事我不喜欢,为什么您要讲诸如一个男人同女人一样长乳房之类的稀奇故事呢?上帝是万能的,完全可以把一袋金子搁在小孩身旁,这样樵夫就能为其雇奶妈了。” 拉比想了半天,才断然说道:“不对!如果上帝显显灵,弄个奇迹出来就可以对付此事,他何必去花钱呢?”

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11:15 I told myself I was going to pace myself to only write something every three minutes But Luis Scola just got Garnett with his patented defender goes by, dribble a once or twice and then shoot play that I absolutely fallen in love with. Frank Vogel said it best after the victory against the Bulls, when he mentioned have one of the best international players ever coming off of our bench I think Pacers fans finally 100% realized what they now have in Scola when they booed Tyler Hansbrough during his first appearance with the Toronto Raptors on Friday night.

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    • "His commitment to photojournalism can not be denied. I am certain he will secure a place amongst some of our best." JR Photography

    • "I've seen many war photos and met a few war photographers, but Zoriah's work deeply touched me." Globe Visions

    • "Zoriah Miller, In looking through his materials on his website, no one could debate the fact that he is enormously talented as a photographer, there's no doubt about it. Photographs taken around the world, many in war-torn regions...extremely moving." Laura Ingraham on the Laura Ingraham Show

    • "You are as J. Nachtway, Alex Majoli, Alexandra Boulat... brave reportage... good, good job..." Salvatore Piermarini

    • "It is a eye opener to view your work, it brings strong emotions when doing so. Your work reflects an other side of the world around us and beyond. Its a honour to be your contact and I will use it to find inspiration for myself. Thanks for sharing these pictures with us." Frits van Sambeek

    • "Le tue foto danno un senso alla vita,c'è chi ha tutto e chi non si può permettere di pensare al futuro...perchè non sa se ci sarà! Più li guardo e più mi commuovo per la bellezza e la dura realtà." Mimmo Messineo

    • "Your work has changed me. It`s such an interesting effect your work has. Amazing art, it also informs so specifically, precisely." Roberto Eiti

    • "Zoriah`s pictures keep me breathless. They are shocking and at the same time they have an attraction which makes me come back to look at them again and again. Zoriah`s work has my full respect. Chapeau!" T. Klick

    • "Your amazing photos take me away from my comfort zone, and I confess I need that. Thank you for being out there and show all of us what is going on beyond our comfortable lives. Please, be safe as much as possible." Itmelo

    • " Zoriah, your pictures bring out so many emotions in me, I'm at a loss for words. They are heart wrenching and thought provoking...thank you for sharing!" Roxy Millado-Duguay

    • The iraq night patrol series was one of the most frightening photo-series I've seen about war. Zoriah pushed war photography in another dimension. You suddenly start appreciating your own life knowing that millions of other souls don't even know how to survive the next night." Dan cinematographer/Berlin

    • "There's a deep meaning in every photo, you've been at the right time and place. Some photos made me cry, and at the same time I was happy to see such a photostream ! It's one of a kind. Thank you so much for sharing.." Hanan Iaway

    • "Zoriah is a REAL photographer...Thank you Zoriah for showing us the truth." Bluto Blutarski

    • "Your work is beyond words. Almost to point of emotional breakpoint." Chieska

    • "Tus fotos son increibles, impactantes. El tratado de blanco y negro es fenomenal... Me quito el sombrero. Ya me gustaría a mi poder hacer trabajos de ese tipo..." Javier Martin

    • "You have some outstanding work! I checked your site and I understand why you have won awards. You really cover your subject matter with an expert eye, very inspiring and eye opening. I will check back often!" Dvdell Photo

    • "Muito muito muito com o seu trabalho... meus sinceros parabens. Fico feliz em ver fotografos engajados com a luta dos povos Beijos e fortes abraços solidários" Ratao Diniz

    • "Incredible not just because they are excellent photographs but because they are frighteningly honest. I hope you continue to make these strong, thought provoking records and that you stay safe in what must be incredibly difficult situations, both physically and emotionally." JimboTF

    • "It would be somewhat of an understatement to say I was impressed with your work. We obviously know how dangerous it is to be involved in that theater (Iraq.) I'm sure that every moment of every day is just on the verge of chaotic for what is that war (war?) if not the ultimate of chaos? And yet you have these moments where you pause to compose image of graphic quality equal to content. Admire all you compositional skills but am especially taken by the wideangle work. Do your best to do so and know you're held in high esteem." Cyclops-Optic

    • "I have to confess, that I couldn't sleep properly after seeing your photos the first time. These images are still in my mind and won't let me go." Vic

    • "There is a great passion in every single shot and I’m very impressed, sad, shocked, touched, deeply moved, frightened and inspired in the same way.You are documenting a very important episode of history. Your pictures speak for themselves and your work is beyond words. Your work is not easy as it is difficult to photograph people in distress. However, it concerns us all and we shall not forget!" Victoria

    • "Into the very depths of my soul. I cannot begin to even sum up with words, the depths of how your images reach out to me. It brings me down to earth and reminds me as to why I picked up the camera in the first place. Your works are truly inspiring. You're very privileged to have to see these places with your own eyes, observe and capture through your lens the true state of the world we live in. As for now, for me, it'll have to be through your eyes, your pictures and the stories they tell. Truly honored," Itzhar

    • "There is a hunger to know the truth about war and your accurate presentation of it is exemplary. I don't believe it possible to be unmoved by your images. This is especially true for those of us who live in a very different world, essentially free from the suffering and carnage you portray. Thank you for your dedication and courage. You are making and incredible contribution to world understanding, hopefully not at an extreme cost to yourself. War photography seems like a hard way to make a living on many levels. Living and breathing civilian trauma is not easy but it is more localized. You can get away from it by driving or moving to another location, but with war there is no escape. The reality is so harsh and overwhelmingly pervasive into all areas of life. Stay safe. Many will be following you." Phopper Nowlin

    • "Thanks, Zoriah, for your hard work and incredible vision, and for the inspiration your example lends to others who have put down the gun, or never carried one." eL Bz

    • "All I can say: 'It's very, very impressive.' Keep up the good work. The world must know!" Mulder Photography

    • "Oh my God! His work is very dramatic! Reporting reality in a way never before seen ...I am impressed." Primo Tacca Neto, Brazil

    • "Your images are so profound - they have so much depth and feeling attached to them. I have much admiration for those who are willing to risk their own safety in order to capture images such as the ones you do." Luke, UK

    • "After watching your pics... I´m absolutely tired. Exhausted. Sooooo much information inside them. One day, I will make pictures like yours, but it will take me three or four lives to learn to do it. Not great but incredible work. Thanks for showing us all the way. Master." Jose Manuel, Spain

    • "I feel honored after I have seen your great work; one day maybe, with more time I hope I will also be able to take the picture I like, going to those place where a photographer contribute can be of a help to improve the quality of life of all those people suffering. Thank you again" Piero

    • "Your images work so well. One thing I would love you to photograph in an ideal world: The impeachment and sentencing of Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, George Bush, Paul Wolfowitz and team for international war crimes. Those pictures would make a fitting end to your middle east series. Keep doing your thing, you are making a difference." Dan

    • "All Wars are very bad and nobody wins...your photographs are very impressive. Congratulations!" Engin Gerçek

    • "Thank you. Your work is amazing, photojournalism is my most desired form of photography. The stories, emotions, and sights your photographs bring to their audience are moving, maddening, touching, frightening - all the things good photojournalism does. Rock on." Podolux

    • "Powerfoul work. It catches visually my attention, and after some pictures I was inmersed in the humanity, the pain, the fight it reflects. Thanks for sharing this work!" Alejocock

    • "You are an amazing photographer. I look forward to following your work." Professor Brian Morley, Ph.D

    • "Your work is absolutely amazing, I love it because it´s hard and beautiful at the same time, you have the most amazing eye, congratulations." Mirelle B

    • "I am often full of words, but tonight your photos have left me speechless. I cannot even begin to imagine the things you've seen. May God keep your heart as you bare your soul through your captures." Michelle

    • "Really, I can't stress how I admire your work. Your photos really move me. I like photography for its beauty, but how you embed meaning in your photos, is just MIND-BLOWING." Screaming Snapshots

    • "Your photos are incredible, for me photojournalism is the most important form of photography, risking your life to show the world real life is crucial." Colin

    • "Nothing makes me cry these days, too complicated to explain, but having just looked at your photos I am sobbing. I can honestly say they are most shocking and at the same time touching photos I have ever seen. You made me think not just of the subject matter but the situation, atmosphere and also how you felt observing and photographing. Thank you for sharing, truly moved." Anonymous

    • "Your photographs are incredible, powerful and touching. I admire that you have a background in humanitarian aid." Terence

    • "Congratulations for your work, your images give us a glampse about what war is about. Humiliation, pain, only for interests. You make this horrible thing seem human. Thank you." Rafael de Carvalho

    • "I find these kinds of life photos as heartbreaking as those which vulgarly show death and destruction. Such good capture, it tells a whole story..." Petit1ze

    • "Tus fotos son increibles, impactantes. El tratado de blanco y negro es fenomenal... Me quito el sombrero. Ya me gustaría a mi poder hacer trabajos de ese tipo..." Javier Martin

    • "Superb photojournalistic images you have in your gallery! Compels me to comment on almost each one. Let them speak for themselves because they really don't need comments. They yet deserve to be deeply appreciated for all their quality. Hope to see more of your fantastic work soon." Mario Proenca

    • "I've often tried to express this practice, but a photo is worth more than my words." W. Quatman

    • "I've always thought that photographs are a kind of self portrait of the photographer. I appreciate your eye and sensibility and the work you do to make the act of war real to the rest of us I mentioned your "eye," your heart is just as visible in your images." Jerry Downs Photographer

    • "Your work is amazingly powerful. Some hard to look at, but gripping nonetheless." Ron Landucci, Infinite Editions

    • "Simply excelent! It's a great reportage of a difficult situation." Rancescamare • "Stunning!" Matteo de Mayda • "Deserves to take a well earned place in history in the company of Phillip Jones-Griffith, Don Mc Cullen, Larry Burrows and Robert Capa. The minimal presentation of his work is perfect...the viewer fills in the details, and the images linger stubbornly in the memory, to awake one from sleep in a cold sweat...these images cannot be taken in in one viewing...the viewer returns restlessly again and again, attempting to process the information...this is really happening. Iconic, compelling images of war by a true professional.... I take my hat off to him." Goddessofxanadu

    • "A chilling commentary on the madness of war, ALL WAR." Ronzig's Gallery

    • "The worlds cruelty compressed into some thousand pixels ... it's so impressive" Cavo Kernich

    • "This is what photography exists for." Dot Spiral

    • "Right up there with Robert Capa. Wonderful work, you should be with MAGNUM. You are showing all sides of the conflict." Old Rollei

    • "Haunting beyond words." Yarnahoy

    • "Hugely thought provoking work." Leah Franchetti

    • "What you are doing is so, so important. I cannot even contemplate what horror and pain you have seen. But see it we must. True dedication and bravery is the only way to expose such inhumanity. Keep truth as your motto, and maybe this silly world we live in will someday wake up and treat people as living souls, not simply pieces of meat to be traded in worthless pointless conflicts. I salute you sir." Jim Bodownie

    • "Simply excellent! It's a great reportage of a difficult situation."Frances Camare

    • "Amazing work. Absolutely outstanding!" Thomas W.P. Slatin Photography

    • "I am awed by these images. Some rank among the best millitary images I've ever seen, and I've collected all the greats." Konsum Terra

    • "I am in awe. I really don't know what to say. I haven't been this affected since I saw Nachtweys work." Dude Crush

    • "It is a eye opener to view your work, it brings strong emotions when doing so. Your work reflects another side of the world around us and beyond. I will use it to find inspiration for myself. Thanks for sharing these pictures with us." Frits van Sambeek

    • "Amazing! difficult to stomach (I am very emotional)... but just brilliant and captivating. Thanks for sharing all your photos..." Penelope Gan

    • "A photograph is like a symbol for all the frightening aspects of a disastrous war that brings so much suffering to so many innocent people on both sides. Great, valuable, artful, high class photography that shows the true face of what is going on in Iraq after the "Holy Mission" was declared completed so long time ago. I bow in respect of your great work." Helmut Schadt

    THE RED ZONE

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